I have been a loyal follower and supporter of the Southern Poverty Law Center for many years.  They do a lot of great work in addressing hate and intolerance throughout the U.S.  I hope that you will take a moment to check out their website and make a stand against hate.

I love being with my family.  It’s fun to be with people who share a similar outlook on life and humor.  There’s something grounding about being with people who have known one all one’s life.  Of course it was good to share stories and memories of my grandmother, and to have a few good cries.  I had a strange realization that I’m no longer anyone’s grand-daughter.  I feel very lucky and blessed in life to have had 4 loving and wonderful grandparents.  My grandfathers were fun and funny, my grandmothers were loving and thought I was so special.  My parents and family may have been fucked up, but my grandparents were always there for me, and for my family.

When I read about Jesus’ ministry he wasn’t so interested in money, prosperity, acheivement or fulfillement.  He was consistently calling his would be followers to self denial, sacrifice, and to be ready to be rejected.  Now I know that sounds like a bit of a downer.  But Jesus also showed that he was more interested in fulfillment for the hurting, the outcast, the down and out.  As for wealth, when he encountered wealthy people he was usually asking them to give it up or at least be willing to give it up.

Maybe I’m hung up on this because I struggle sometimes with feeling unsuccessful in ministry.  I haven’t grown a church from 50 to 500 like a Saddleback or Willow Creek.  I can’t point to a lot of “achievements” either.  I mean, how do you measure that?  “Oh, someone in Bible study had an aha moment, let me keep a record of that for my annual review??”  Or “someone shared a private struggle with recovery, let me chalk that up as a success?”

I think a lot of people probably saw Jesus, his ministry and his followers as a bunch of losers who lost in a bad way after their leader was executed, but God was at work and through that seeming defeat, God continues to work.

Do I write to aim at an audience?  Or just write for myself?  Do I try to find a niche?  Is there possibly any niche left in the blogging universe?  There’s been a book and movie about a somewhat annoying woman, at least in the movie, cooking her way through Julia Child’s cookbook! I didn’t blame Julia C. at all for not being interested in her or her project because I was watching the movie and wasn’t.  I was more interested in Julia Child’s life and thought the movie of her life would be by far more charming and interesting.

Maybe I’ll read some blogs and see what I think is interesting…I really don’t read blogs, I prefer books.  I think I’m biased.  I figure that people who write books, including fiction and novels, actually have some literary merit.  Whereas I tend to think blogs are the ramblings and musings of who knows who?  Although there are some authors out there who stink and I suppose just being “published” doesn’t mean one is knowledgeable or well worded (is that a real phrase)?  I don’t think so.

I need to really figure out this wordpress thing.  I don’t understand how to do anything like insert a pic. or links or make this an interesting blog.

Enough about this guy who has a wife who blogs, and thousands of hits on You Tube.  Now to Glen Beck.  Because people believe Fox to be a network that delivers news or informed content, they watch this man.  From what I can see, he also spouts off about things which he obviously knows very little about.  He throws in lines like “people say,” “history shows,” etc…but they are unproven, unsubstantiated.  Now he has urged Christians to leave their church and report their pastor if they see or hear the words “social justice.”  Now this is the ultimate ignorance.  Anyone who has any basic understanding of the Hebrew or Christian scriptures would know that scripture is filled with God’s message of compassion for the poor, the vulnerable of society, like the orphans and widows.  The people today who are powerless, who are victims of greed and capitalism.  Who cannot make a way within an oppressive economic system. 

Wake up Christians and quit letting people like these speak for us!  Make it known that Christianity is to follow the call of a radical, of many radicals who looked at the way of the world and envisioned something different where the last are first, the weak are strong, the poor are rich, and to lose one’s life is to gain it.

I generally don’t emphasize sacrifice much because I feel most women don’t have a problem with sacrificing.  It’s all too easy for me, and many women I know to sacrifice their own self, their self-hood, their wants, dreams, needs for parents, children, strangers on the street…

But as a Christian and  a disciple of Christ-what does need to be sacrificed?  Lent is a good time to examine my life, my way of living in the world and ask myself what do I need to give up?  Maybe it’s not the traditional things like chocolate or sugar.  Maybe I need to give up being so worried about what other people want me to be, or trying to please others at the expense of my own health.  Maybe it’s time for me to give up the idea that I have to appear competent and capable in every situation.  Maybe I  need to give up worry and anxiety about money.  I can think of a lot of things I can work on giving up.

What do you need to give up?

Tomorrow we will think about things we can take on for Lent.  May God grant you grace as you continue on your journey.

Got up at 4:30 AM to get my two kids, daughter 20, son 19 to the airport.  They are both in their first year of college back East.  My daughter started in the Fall, my son is starting this semester.  So I got used to her being gone, and the changes in my life.  It is different with a son because since he hit teenagerhood he doesn’t want much to do with mom.  But it will be strange to have the house to ourselves.  I think in some ways I’m ready, it seems like kids make it natural for parents to be ready for them to leave in some ways:)  I won’t miss having a bunch of kids hanging out in my living room at all hours, eating TONS of food, starting movies at 11 pm, leaving messes everywhere they go…etc…. Maybe I’m in denial and only trying to cope.

Of course I’ve had my sad and poignant moments of remembering them when younger and dependent.  I had dreams for a week about them as young kids, I even woke up one night crying!  But it’s time, it’s time for them to have their adventures away from mom and dad.  It helps in some ways that they are at the same school, to look out for each other and hopefully not crowd each other.  It helps to think that maybe this will bring them closer.

I want to try some art projects, but so far I haven’t had time or money to get supplies, or clear a space to do it!